Catching my breath
It’s crazy to look back and realize that I haven’t worked on this site or my podcast in two years! I intentionally stepped away during the excitement and adjustment of a new job, but time definitely slipped away from me. The great news is that I have an entire series of episodes ready to record. I’ll be adding a guest co-host to each episode, so I am working on the upgrade to my gear to record two people. New series coming this fall!
So now I’m going to catch my breath and get ready for the next push. You know that moment before you burst out of the blocks in a race… or dive into the pool to swim laps… or step on the stage to speak or sing? You take a deep breath and focus. That’s me. I have been in a full “run” for the last two years. It has been educational, challenging and truly fulfilling. Submitting your future, ambition and passions to God can feel scary sometimes. Releasing control usually is. It’s hard to feel like you don’t have a handle on what will happen. When you care so much, it’s a natural instinct to want to hold on tight.
Yet after a unique year of fully taking my hands off the wheel from August 2020 - August 2021, God soundly reminded me that He is much better at navigating my future than I have ever been. In His kindness, He has led our family to an incredible church. I am still so humbled and grateful that I get to put my career energy 100% into pastoral ministry, but 12Stone Church is also a home for my family. We are all growing, learning and building lifelong relationships there. It is such a gift!
So I’m excited to jump back in to sharing things I’m learning, in the hopes that it may connect to something you’re going through. We’re in this together! The world around us grows more complex, but the light of faith in Jesus is stronger than ever.
Selfless Leadership
Scripture Reference: Nehemiah 5:14-18 NLT “For the entire twelve years that I was governor of Judah—from the twentieth year to the thirty-second year of the reign of King Artaxerxes—neither I nor my officials drew on our official food allowance. The former governors, in contrast, had laid heavy burdens on the people, demanding a daily ration of food and wine, besides forty pieces of silver. Even their assistants took advantage of the people. But because I feared God, I did not act that way. I also devoted myself to working on the wall and refused to acquire any land. And I required all my servants to spend time working on the wall. I asked for nothing, even though I regularly fed 150 Jewish officials at my table, besides all the visitors from other lands! The provisions I paid for each day included one ox, six choice sheep or goats, and a large number of poultry. And every ten days we needed a large supply of all kinds of wine. Yet I refused to claim the governor’s food allowance because the people already carried a heavy burden.”
This is a great example of selfless leadership. I understand the balance of 1 Timothy 5:18 - “ A laborer deserves his wages.” However, Nehemiah understood that during a time of crisis and uncertainty, he needed to set an example of sacrifice, selflessness and generosity. The people of Israel were traumatized by captivity, slavery and oppression. They had experienced self-centered, corrupt leadership. No one would have criticized him for utilizing the governors allowance. That was his right in that position. But he was on a mission from God. A mission of restoration. So he went above and beyond to help heal the hearts of people while they rebuilt the wall. He was rebuilding the internal structure just as much as the external structure. That’s true leadership!
Gratitude
Post from November 22, 2021
Gratitude. Its power to transform you internally is huge! And its power to transform others is both significant and extremely underrated.
This Thanksgiving - find a way to express your gratitude to people you love. If you’re not good with words, it’s ok. Practice a little and then fumble through it if necessary.
Those words of gratitude can lead to healing, renewed hope and new freedom. What an amazing gift. It’s priceless but everyone can afford it.
Season Changes
Post from November 17, 2021
In God’s design, even death has beauty to it.
The autumn season is an incredible picture of that. Creation is going dormant. It’s a process of dying in order to prepare for new life. What a beautiful picture of the heart of God.
In our humanity, that is not so easy to embrace. It is difficult to see the beauty in it. Death prompts grief. And grief is a unique and important, but devestating process in life. When you’re in the middle of it, it’s hard to see 2 feet in front of your face.
So I’m grateful for the autumn leaves. They are a beautiful reminder of the cycle of life and death. In light of eternity, they both have important purpose.
Your Body - His Temple
Post from November 15, 2021
The last 18 months have had many different challenges. I know you can each relate to that in your own world. 👊🏽
When I am navigating life‘s challenges, my personal health is unfortunately an area that doesn’t always get the best of me under pressure. 🙄
Food should not be medication. Unfortunately, it can be pretty effective during times of stress. I don’t like the power it has in my life. (Can I get a witness? 🙋🏽♀️)
So even though there are still challenges to face, and uncertainties that I can’t control, I need to turn a corner. So I am going to walk out this season change by stepping into some changes that I can control.
If you have ever struggled or have fought hard for victory in the area of physical health, I would love to hear your stories. I’ve had success in this area before. I know what is possible. Let’s encourage each other!
“I told you the first time…”
Post from September 16, 2021
A little more than a year ago, I experienced a huge disappointment in ministry. It was heavy. Painful. I didn’t see it coming so it was completely disorienting. Spiritual whiplash.
I sat down with God and said, “What am I supposed to do now?”
He kept it simple and straightforward. “Rest. Stay put.”
So that’s what I did. I had to learn how to rest in the way He was telling me to. That process is still changing my life!
A few months later, I was feeling anxious again. Okay I rested. I think I’ve figured it out. Now what? What is my next? We moved across the country for ministry. Now what? Didn’t You call me here? Did I miss something?
In His grace, He answered my list of frantic questions with this statement.
“Daughter, I told you once. I’m not going to say it again.”
My earthly parents definitely said that to me growing up. 😁 But this was different. It was out of this heart of deep empathy, understanding, and compassion. He knew what I was feeling and was willing to comfort me rather than correct me.
So until He says something new, that’s what I do.
Sabbath vs. To Do List
Post from June 25, 2021
Over the last year, I have learned SO much about the value of true Sabbath rest. But on days like today, it’s really tough to focus on the invisible power of the practice when the visible To Do’s are screaming my name.
After moving this week, I was telling myself that it’s just so much harder right now… but is it?
Every day bombards us with things that demand our attention. One of the classic tactics of the enemy is to keep us busy.
busy people = weary people
weary people = vulnerable people
vulnerable people = compromise
compromise = defeated people
defeated people = give up
Not fallin for it. It can wait. God will be faithful to multiply what is needed for the work. Sabbath rest is supernatural.
Stop fallin for it.
Proximity
Post from June 4, 2021
On a summer day 7 years ago, I was sitting on a dock beside the Missouri River.
I snapped this selfie and sent it to Steve while he was at work. I was spending some time with Jesus near the water. That’s one of my favorite places to pray and meditate.
I was at a crucial point in my ministry life. I felt stuck. I wasn’t sure how to move forward. But I knew there was more.
This was the summer I realized that I didn’t really need answers from God. What I really needed was proximity. When you live up close to God, anything else you need is found there.
And He revealed a simple truth. “If you don’t trust Me, the only alternative is to trust man.”
No Place Like Home
Post from May 17, 2021
I love to travel and I really enjoy sharing adventures with people I love. We truly had such a good time on vacation! 🎢☀️But when your home is a refuge and a place of peace, there is something very sweet about coming home.
There’s an actual holiness you experience because the presence of God is welcome. I am thankful we have cultivated that in our home. I encourage you to do the same.
It’s not about the structure. It’s about who fills it. The intentionality of what it feels like. It’s not perfect. It’s authentic. It’s safe. And it’s full of Hope. #homeisafeeling
Adrenaline or Anointing?
Post from May 12, 2021
Today’s post is for all my friends in ministry, and those preparing to step into vocational ministry...
I heard Pastor Gerald Brooks at a leadership roundtable yesterday. In this particular session, I felt the weight of these very important reminders.
“Important question to ask yourself… Is your ministry powered by adrenaline or anointing?”
“In ministry, adrenaline is a shortcut which is easy to take. Anointing is a road which shard to stay on.”
“In ministry, adrenaline gives a false sense of power that you’re better than you really are.”
“Adrenaline points people to you. Anointing points people to Him.”
I’m grateful to learn from and be challenged by wise, experienced leaders.
Mothers Day 2021
I love that we take a day each year to celebrate Moms. I am one of those people who was incredibly blessed to become best friends with my Mom as an adult.
I do have some great childhood memories but my favorite are the grownup talks (and sometimes tears) over coffee, watching her make memories with her grandkids, doing DIY home projects, and collaborating on new recipes. She’s amazing.
So it also means today involves a wide array of emotions. I miss her. It’s the 4th one without her. The deep gratitude and long list of hilarious memories is mixed up with the realization of moments that we won’t be able to experience together.
So hug your Mom tight today if you can. If she lives far away, call her and have a long conversation about any random thing. Share some funny memories. And if you don’t have a relationship with your Mom, do something about that if you can.
Being a Mom is hard. And the most wonderful. It changes everything. Celebrate all the Moms around you! They need a little extra love now and then. ❤️
Miss you Mom. ❤️🤟🏽
Grow
Post from May 4, 2021
I’m so thankful for how we are wired with capacity to grow.
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There is no lid. You can never top off the potential to learn. It’s impossible to max out.
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I feel sad for those who think they’re done. I wonder if it’s because the lessons increase in difficulty and depth as you go. The tests gets harder as well.
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Keep listening. Ask questions of the Master Teacher. He will never run out of things to say. “Who could ever wrap their minds around the riches of God, the depth of his wisdom, and the marvel of his perfect knowledge?” Romans 11:33a TPT
Easter Reflection
Post from April 5, 2021
Can you imagine the Monday after Jesus was resurrected?
For those who knew He was alive, the fear and hopelessness that had plagued them for those three days was likely replaced by uncontainable excitement of endless possibilities!
For those who hadn’t yet heard, they were still hiding in fear, like sheep with no shepherd. They didn’t know where to go or what to believe because the crucifixion felt like the ultimate defeat.
On this Easter Monday, which group do you identify with? Is your heart filled with hope and excitement for the future? Or do you feel abandoned and disillusioned?
What Jesus did changed EVERYTHING! 🙌🏽🙌🏽 Our lives as His followers should reflect that. New life. Hope that is renewed daily. Eternal purpose. Limitless love. Courageous Christianity.
The Process
Post from February 6, 2021
“Commit to the process.” I have coached myself with this reminder - almost daily. The last 9 months has been one of the most confusing seasons in my adult life. I know I’m not alone in that...
Certain ministry doors were closed unexpectedly. And that meant that certain dreams were shut down. It was necessary to take time to grieve the losses. Necessary and very difficult.
In the process of grief, healing and waiting for God to reveal what’s next, I began to notice how much was happening in the process. This in-between place is so uncomfortable. I’m still there! But as I submit to the different layers of the process, it has proven to be surprisingly fruitful.
The in-between place that we call “process” has a lot of answers, but not necessarily to the questions you’re asking. If you’re listening, you will hear things you didn’t even know you needed. And you may even discover new opportunities you weren’t looking for.
🥂 Here’s to commitment to the process!
Sabbath: An Unwrapped Gift
In preparing for the episodes about the Sabbath, I collected notes and quotes from a variety of sources. I have been reading and studying for the last year and here are several of the resources that I recommend if you want to study this practice further.
Scripture References from the Series:
Exodus 20:1-17
Exodus 5 - Pharaoh’s relentless demand for productivity
Matthew 22:35-40
Matthew 11:29-30
1 Peter 1:3, 22
Quotes:
If you can't rest from it, then you're a slave to it. Robert Madu
In experiences of solitude we gently press into the holy of holies where we are sifted in the stillness. Richard Foster
As we relinquish control and admit weaknesses, we remember who we are and why we are here. The sun does not rise and set on our achievements, but on the love of God. Life is a journey of coming to know God, not achieving or gaining others approval. Letting go is both too simple and too difficult. It looks like weakness instead of strength, like losing instead of gaining, and it is. Responding to God’s call to surrender forces me to value my brokenness as well as my strength. Jan Johnson from “The virtue of surrender”
Blessed be to God for the day of rest and religious occupation wherein earthly things assume their true size. Ambition is stunted. William Wilberforce
Books:
“Sabbath as Resistance” by Walter Bruegemann
“Resting Place” by Jane Rubietta
“Emotionally Healthy Spirituality” by Peter Scazzero
“Subversive Sabbath” by A.J. Swoboda
“Secrets of the Secret Place” by Bob Sorge
“Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life” by Donald Whitney
“Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership” by Ruth Haley Barton
“Leading On Empty” by Wayne Cordeiro
“Leading from the Inside Out” by Samuel D. Rima
“The Leadership Secrets of Billy Graham” by Harold Myra and Marshall Shelley
Under a fig tree
These blog posts will be short entries that reflect moments that have impacted me but aren’t long enough for a podcast episode. Today’s entry is from John 1:43-51.
“The next day Jesus decided to go to Galilee. When he got there, he ran across Philip and said, “Come, follow me.” (Philip’s hometown was Bethsaida, the same as Andrew and Peter.) Philip went and found Nathanael and told him, “We’ve found the One Moses wrote of in the Law, the One preached by the prophets. It’s Jesus, Joseph’s son, the one from Nazareth!” Nathanael said, “Nazareth? You’ve got to be kidding.” But Philip said, “Come, see for yourself.”
When Jesus saw him coming he said, “There’s a real Israelite, not a false bone in his body.” Nathanael said, “Where did you get that idea? You don’t know me.” Jesus answered, “One day, long before Philip called you here, I saw you under the fig tree.” Nathanael exclaimed, “Rabbi! You are the Son of God, the King of Israel!” Jesus said, “You’ve become a believer simply because I say I saw you one day sitting under the fig tree? You haven’t seen anything yet! Before this is over you’re going to see heaven open and God’s angels descending to the Son of Man and ascending again.”
This makes me curious. I wonder if there was something significant that happened to Nathanael under the fig tree. Otherwise it seems kind of random that he would respond so strongly - he seemed surprised, taken back. Fig trees are common in that part of the world, so I can’t imagine that he only sat under a fig tree one time in his entire life. Perhaps that is the case and that is why it is significant.
But my imagination causes me to wonder if Nathanael had some kind of really cool divine encounter with the Holy Spirit under the fig tree or something. Or maybe there was something he’s ashamed of that happened under a fig tree. Something he had never told anyone. I just know that I have had moments like Nathanael where I just have to declare “WOW you really are an amazing God!” I actually just had one this last week. It’s usually because God whispers something to me that doesn’t seem likely or possible, and then it actually happens! One of those moments where He just shows me again how amazing His power is. I just wonder if Nathanael had an experience like that. I hope to remember to ask him when we meet in heaven.
Welcome to Rouxminating
Thank you so much for joining me on this new adventure! If you told me a year ago that I would be preparing to launch a podcast, I would have smirked. I had a list of reasons why podcasting wasn’t “my thing” when students or friends would suggest it. But after the last six months, I find myself looking at several things in life differently. Unexpected and unprecedented change can have that effect on people! We certainly all have that in common, don’t we?
I hope to share stories, wisdom and a few ideas that may be helpful as you navigate your own adventure. My goal is to inspire faith, explore mystery and challenge the status quo. I look forward to connecting with you soon!